Saber Marionette J - the MasterCard Commercials
by theCarlinist
Summary: SMJ spamfic. Back by popular demand (I wish! ^_^*). Chapter 4 is now up. R&R please.
1. Otaku Randomness

Disclaimer: I do not own Saber Marionette J,nor did I create the  
MasterCard commercials. I'm not that creative.  
  
Warnings:PG-13 for SMJ-style humor and situations.  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #1 ------------------------  
*The case for volume 8 of SMJ lies open on a coffee table,with the  
rest of the box set lying nearby. A mysterious hand returns a tape  
to the case before putting the case back in the box.*  
  
Saber Marionette J Box Set: $150  
  
*The camera cuts to a TV,which is showing the menu screen for the SMJ  
Again DVD collection.*  
  
Saber Marionette J Again DVD Collection: $44.98  
  
*The camera pans to a bookcase filled to the brim with anime videos  
and DVDs. Featured prominantly is the tape for SMR.*  
  
Saber Marionette R,Subtitled: $24.98  
  
*The camera cuts back to the TV,where we see Tiger speaking in Japanese  
with English subtitles.*  
  
Not hearing Tiger's dub voice: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else,there's  
MasterCard.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #2 ------------------------  
*We look in on the same room from before. An open mailing tube marked  
"AnimeNation" is carelessly strewn across the couch,and a SMJ  
wallscroll hangs proudly on the far wall.*  
  
Saber Marionette J Wallscroll: $16.95  
  
*Camera cuts to the TV,where someone is playing an imported copy of  
the SMJ Playstation game.*  
  
Saber Marionette J: Battle Sabers: $62.95 imported  
  
*Near the bookshelf is a small collection of SMJ manga.*  
  
Saber Marionette J manga: $50  
  
*The mysterious hand from the previous commercial is revealed to belong  
to Cherry as the Marionettes and Otaru sit down in front of the TV to  
watch SMJ to X. They laugh insanely as Hanagata gets the stuffing  
knocked out of him by Tamasaburo and Baiko for singing "Iyokan"*  
  
Reliving your favorite moments with the Fruit Salad Girls: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else,there's  
MasterCard. 


	2. Ieyasu and Otaru

Disclaimer: I do not own Saber Marionette J,nor did I create the  
MasterCard commercials. I'm not that creative.  
  
Warnings:PG-13 for SMJ-style humor and situations. Spoilers for SMJ.  
  
A/N: Here we go again!  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #3 ------------------------  
*Otaru ogles the picture of Lorelei in ep. 1*  
  
Prized painting: 40,000 mon  
  
*Otaru examines the secret underground lab where he finds Lime*  
  
Private Studio for "Personal Pursuits": 10,000,000,000 mon  
  
*Shot of a Maiden Circuit*  
  
Science Fair Project: 1,500,000 mon  
  
*Lime and Shogun discussing shougi*  
  
Hobby Supplies: 3,400 mon  
  
*Faust,Otaru,Tamasaburo and Baiko discussing the Mesopotamia's attack  
in ep. 24*  
  
Overcoming differences with a rival: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else,there's  
MasterCard.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #4 ------------------------  
*Scenes of Otaru's elementary "schooling"*  
  
Elementary-level Education: 124,000 mon  
  
*Shot of Kasahari Apartments*  
  
Roof over one's head: 51,400 mon/month  
  
*Otaru training with Soemon in ep. 5*  
  
Martial Arts lessons: 28,300 mon/month  
  
*Otaru yelling at Lime about the door in ep. 2*  
  
Home maintenance: 1,480 mon  
  
*Otaru declaring his love from the escape pod*  
  
Having your life changed by technology: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else,there's  
MasterCard. 


	3. Fruit Salad Girls

Disclaimer: I do not own Saber Marionette J,nor did I create the  
MasterCard commercials. I'm not that creative.  
  
Warnings:PG-13 for SMJ-style humor and situations. Spoilers for SMJ.  
  
A/N: It's chapter 3 of the continuing spamfic series. This will  
probably be the end of it,unless someone begs me to continue... ^_^*  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #5 ------------------------  
*Lime checks herself out in the mirror at the secondhand clothing shop*  
  
New Wardrobe: 105 mon  
  
*Lime gets pissed at Hanagata splashing her with muddy water*  
  
Laundry Services: 710 mon/week  
  
*Lime vandalizes some Faust posters*  
  
Disorderly Conduct charge: 3,900 mon  
  
*Montage of Lime scarfing down food*  
  
Yearly energy bill: 124,750 mon  
  
*Flashback sequence with Lime & Otaru discussing happiness plays*  
  
Discovering the Meaning of Life: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else,there's  
MasterCard.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #6 ------------------------  
*Cherry shows Otaru their desperate situation in ep.7*  
  
Groceries: 2,500 mon/week  
  
*Cherry unleashes her rice tub on the hapless Gartlant soldiers*  
  
Cooking supplies: 17,500 mon  
  
*Montage of Cherry's perverted fantasies*  
  
ADHD therapy: 50,000 mon/month  
  
*Shots of the many uses of Cherry's stethoscope*  
  
The latest in spy gadgets: 1,579,827,600 mon  
  
*Shot of Cherry's "enhancements" in the closing credits of J OVA ep.3*  
  
Having your secret wish come true: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else,there's  
MasterCard.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #7 ------------------------  
*Bloodberry blocks Luchs' daggers with the log that she's spinning*  
  
Firewood: 250 mon  
  
*Bloodberry crushes the logs that Hanagata has brought out to illustrate  
his "point," then blows the resulting sawdust in his face*  
  
Trash compactor: 500,000 mon  
  
*Montage of Bloodberry's affinity for sake*  
  
Alcoholics Anonymous program: 125,000 mon  
  
*Bloodberry mentions her hot springs paraphanelia*  
  
Special Resort Package for two: 154,000 mon  
  
*video image censored*  
  
Spending some "quality time" with a loved one: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else,there's  
MasterCard. 


	4. Spiff-cam

Disclaimer: I do not own Saber Marionette J,nor did I create the  
MasterCard commercials. I'm not that creative.  
  
Warnings:PG-13 for SMJ-style humor and situations.  
  
A/N: I lied. Chapter 3 was not the end. I had a request from SFPCAHM to  
include a Hanagata commercial. So,under pain of torture,I am producing  
this for the world to see. Hope it's at least as good as the last  
three...  
  
----------------- SMJ MasterCard commercial #8 ------------------------  
*Hanagata offers Otaru his "Special Silver-grade rice"*  
  
Charitable donation to "help save a starving child": 5 mon/day  
  
*Camera shows Hanagata after one of his numerous beatings at the hands  
of the marionettes. Camera cuts away. When the camera cuts back to  
Hanagata,he looks as good as new.*  
  
Instant tailoring: 7,000 mon  
  
*Hanagata proudly displays his "Otaru PJs"*  
  
Idol merchandise: 10,000 mon  
  
*Montage of Hanagata's many flights is played*  
  
Flying lessons: 150,725 mon  
  
*Hanagata prances around in his "special item" on the day of the  
Sanja Festival*  
  
Not getting arrested for indecent exposure: Priceless 


End file.
